My list of things to do "some day" just gets longer and longer. And I don't mean my bucket list of wishful things to do before I die. I mean stuff that really needs to be taken care of that I just can't find the hours in the day to do.
Inventory the fridge and pantry and make a real shopping list and go get groceries. We never have anything to cook with so I don't end up making good meals but instead throw in yet another frozen pizza.
Fix my grandmother's rug. I have 5 rag rugs my grandmother made. I think they may very well be the last remaining rugs out of the thousands she made on her loom. I used to sit and watch her weave on the loom as a little girl. The thread holding the rugs together is wearing from age. One was coming apart, then a few weeks ago it got caught as Mr. I was walking over it and it ripped half way across. I'm sure I could mend it. I even have a vague idea of how to do it. But I just don't have the time to sit down and concentrate on it. I know I won't be able to sit still enough and be patient enough in my current frenzy state.
Take Violet to play tennis, go ice skating, bowling, and about 25 other sports/right of passages that she's never tried. She needs a little extra time to tackle sports that other kids just jump right in with both feet and do. She needs privacy and not everyone she knows watching and yelling "come on, Violet" at her. She needs help to learn how. It makes me want to cry to think that I haven't even successfully taught her how to ride a bike yet. I just can't do it all.
The house needs a super deep cleaning. We've lived here over 12 years and some of the rooms still aren't painted. I never got a garden in this year. Houseplants sit dead in their pots. I haven't taught Violet to sew although she asks for help all the time.
I can't do it all. I try. I really do. There's so much I'd love to do for me, that I know I won't get to do again until she's in college. Like exercise and take care of myself and get a good night's sleep.
Sorry, I'm feeling extra whiny tonight. I just don't know what else I can give up in order to be able to do everything that needs to be done.
4 comments:
It's overwhelming sometimes to just do life.
I don't have advice, it sounds like we're both in a similar place with our outlook, but I can tell you that most of it isn't as important as you think it is... that you'll get through and the urgent things WILL happen.
Lyssa did not ride her bike until she was 10. Sensory issues and hypotonia go hand in hand.
But she eventually learned. I'm not sure why that's important, though. I function okay and I never ride a bike.
(((hugs))
Wow, talk about 2 people cut from the same cloth - you and me. It's hard working and homeschooling. Give yourself a little break. Set some priorities. Do the things you want to do most and try not to worry about the rest. Now, you need to tell me all that stuff I just told you. :-)
awwww....... That's not whiney. Frustrated, perhaps, but not whiney. Don't try to do it all....pick one thing to accomplish before the end of the year. Do it..sit back...and don't start on anything else until after New Year's Day. Just one thing... inventory/clean the fridge. Then don't think about anything else until January. :)
I think all of us feel that way. I do most of the time and I don't even work outside the home.
Post a Comment