Number 4

Violet and I went to Walmart this morning, and as we were bringing in the groceries, Violet said, "Marbles has a mouse in his mouth." After she repeated it about 4 times, I figured out that Marbles was sitting there with a mouse in his mouth! Sometimes adults are slow. I got him to drop it and it was dead. I didn't want him eating it on the carpeting, so I got the oatmeal container out and used an empty Poptarts box to scoot it into the container (okay, I'm fairly brave, but I don't touch dead mice if I don't have to) and took him outside. (What do you use your recycling for?) I put him in the corner of the yard and covered him with dried leaves. Marbles was pissed. That was his snack! And now someone else was going to get to eat it. Freakmom is so unfair!

Tonight I was upstairs and I heard Mr. Incredible yelling, "drop it!" and "hand me the oatmeal container!" Yep, Marbles had number 3. It was alive. When he captured it, Mr. I. noticed it had a broken back leg. I convinced him we couldn't help it, but if we could get it outside to someplace safe, maybe it would heal enough it the mouse could live a decent life. I know, but don't tell him. The mouse is outside instead of at a $300 after hours emergency vet visit or in a mouse cage dying a slow death while we watch.

Then a few minutes later, I say "Marbles has a mouse in his mouth!" After I say it 4 times, Mr. Incredible understands that Marbles has a mouse in his mouth and grabs the oatmeal container I'm holding out for him. (Are you seeing a pattern here? The oatmeal container is the preferred mouse transport system in the Freak Household.) It took 2 of us to catch it when Marbles dropped it. And of course, I wouldn't reach down with a bare hand to try to get the mouse to run into the container (which lead to some teasing later - hey, I try, but I'm a girly girl).

Lessons for today:

1. Adults need to hear, "Marbles has a mouse in his mouth," a minimum of 4 times for it to make sense as a sentence.

2. There must be a nest of mice in the house somewhere, numbers 2-4 have all been small.

3. Marbles is much better at catching mice than either me or Mr. Incredible.

4. Freakmom acts brave, but really isn't.

5. If you catch a mouse and want to eat it, don't bring it into the family room!